Have you ever been in a funk?? You know, when you want to do something…you really need to do something…but you just find excuses not to? I have been having a hard time trying to figure out why, because I used to have a 60+ hour a week job and was a workaholic. I actually had a hard time leaving the office. Not because I didn’t want to go home, because I really did, but because I just couldn’t stop.
Now that I’m no longer there I sometimes feel I have no purpose, even though I do. My purpose is working for myself and my family. Why on earth would that be less important to me than working for someone else??? I don’t know. Am I crazy??? What is wrong with me??? Am I the only one that has ever had this problem and how do I get rid of it?? Do you know what I mean??
Well that is where I am. I don’t want to think that is where I am, or that is what I am doing, but…here I am. Actually, I do know what the problem is, and no one wants to realize this about themselves, but what are you gonna do when it’s staring you in the face? I am depressed. There, I said it, and no one with white jackets have crashed thru my patio door. Whew!!
Have any of you been here, or think that it’s a possibility for you?? It could be. I lost a very big part of my life that was woven into who I am. I also lost some very dear friends this last year and the hole in my heart is immense. I can’t imagine that being my spouse, father or mother. I lost my familiar this year as well, he was with me for 16 years. If you have had any kind of loss in your life, this could be happening to you as well. Think about it. It’s possible.
Well, now that I understand my problem, that is half the cure. I think I’ll put some herbs together to see if I can’t give myself a little push out of the hole I’m in. (If you think you need medical advice on this please see your favorite physician.) In the mean time I will set myself some very small goals so when I achieve them I will be able to pat myself on the back. It might be a good thing for you to try as well. What do you think??
As I write this and re-read this, I am realizing that my old job was not woven into who I was…I was woven into my job. I made my job a great job and a wonderful place to be because I am who I am. I had the best staff because I was a good leader and I was a good leader because I had good staff and a great supervisor. Life is a give and take, and I’m a giver, so I better get back to it. Who are you and what have you made better by being you??
My husband, the wonderful man he is has been out in this sub zero weather 4 times today to help his mother with her water and here I sat thinking about what to do first. So I got my mirror out, put my makeup on, and told myself to set some goals! Did you know that you listen to yourself the best when you look in the mirror?
So for all of you that are feeling this same way, I challenge you to do one thing today, if possible, but tomorrow at the latest, that you said you were going to do but have been putting it off. Set your timer for 15 or 30 minutes and do it. Don’t forget to pat yourself on the back!!! Or tell me and I’ll pat you on the back!! Then do it again the next day and the next day until you just automatically do it. When you are ready, add another thing and so on.
I would like to thank you all for being here, I’ll be back again tomorrow. Please let me know if any of this rings true for you. Let me know if I helped anyone else out there who has lost themselves somewhere along the way, because you sure helped me. I miss giving advice, even if it’s to myself.
Blessed be and thank you,
PS This is me patting myself on the back for finishing this today!!